K said today how much money she has saved since her husband hasn't been around 24/7. I agreed with her that men are exspensive.
I just sent a txt trying to explain that i reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaallly have to save after buying this damn tv next week. I aplogized, I told him to curse me out if he wants but its either that or forget the holidays.
A little much? Perhaps. But not if things keep the way they're going.
The thing that really pisses me off is.... the tv isn't something i want to buy, it's another bragging thing for him. another damn THING.
he presently owes me 200 between the THINGS i bought for him ("i'll pay you back next paycheck, i swear" for his vehicle and the phonebill I paid in full for him ("next paycheck, just let me know, just remind me")
he owes me long lost long forgotten 600whatever dollars from so long before that i gave up on seeing a hell of a long time ago.
I wish we could buy something I could brag about too.... but i don't brag about THINGS. That's immature.
So i find a fabulous deal on a designer purse, real, for thirty bucks. And he doesn't pay for it. Doesn't offer. I buy it. And later he develops a hatred of the damn purse, calls it prissy and everything else.
I don't know how to break this fixation he has on THINGS. I've dated far younger men, far less mature men, who were actually far more damn mature about that.
I have a relative with a boyfriend who used to comment on the amount of jewelery she wore.... "too flashy." We all had tried for years to get her to tone things down, but to no avail.
One day her boyfriend showed up wearing more gold chains, rings, etc. than Mr. T and King Midas combined. My relative was taken aback. She found his appearance offensive - too flashy, too focused on image, on things, too immature in perspective of what it signified as being important.
And within a few days of contemplation, and a few more days of reflection, she gradually started to change some of her own perspectives.
I wish I could use some tactic like this myself, but I don't know how it would work. I think I'd more likely get told off, cursed out, called some names, anything else other than the desired effect.
I wish I could get him to see that THINGS don't make him who he is.... that if THINGS are all that his "friends" use to judge his worth as a friend by, that he is choosing friends poorly, that his "friends" are undervaluing him and he is undervaluing his self.
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